The long days of motherhood

The days are long, but time is going so quickly, little one.

I’m still in shock that you chose me to be your mommy and now you’re showing me what it is that you want to do with the day.

Rushing around while you yell at me to slow down and play with you, I’m amazed at the relationship we’ve formed in your short life. I’m amazed how we can communicate so clearly- laughing at the same jokes, frustrated at the same struggles and cuddling when we need it most.

At bed time, I miss you most. I want you to sleep so I can get done all the last minute chores, but when I see your eyes flutter shut, feel your breath on my face, your arms draped around my neck and your body so relaxed, I literally feel like I could stay in this moment forever. I try to absorb every last fleeting second with you as you are. I know this won’t always be the way you go to sleep at night. I won’t get to smell your hair or hold you like this. I know you won’t even be the same little girl you were when I put you to sleep! You were once so little- how did you get so big, so fast?

This present moment is the only time when I don’t miss you as a little, little baby. I love you just as you are. I love the way you cock your head to the side when you want someone’s attention, your smile that is so big it takes up your whole face, the determination and excitement in your face as you let go to balance on your own.

I can’t wait to see who you become. You are the most amazing miracle to come into my life and since you have no problem with cuddling, we’re going to stay here just holding each other a little longer. I’m going to continue to think about how you came about, how much I adore you right now and wonder about who you will become. I don’t know how I got so lucky, but motherhood has exceeded all expectations and this little soul has created a strength in my exhausted body that I never knew I needed, wanted or had inside of me. A new woman has emerged- mind, body and spirit.

Thank you my tiny little dancer- for sitting in this chair with me just a little longer. This was exactly what I needed after such a long day…

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